Little did I know how my hormones and pain would get the best of me! To me it was so weird to not be emotional after birth it was really weird. I didn't really think anything of it because let's be honest 42 hours of waiting for him to come out is hard on anyone.
When I got home and my milk came in it started to hurt like crazy! I knew it would hurt but man with cracked nipples, mastitis, lack of sleep and baby blues it was all to much and I started pumping. He was exclusively breast feed for two weeks and got only breast milk for six weeks. It wasn't my plan but it was my reality! I was sad and on demand all the time I know that sounds selfish but I wasn't happy and that wasn't going to be good for anyone.
I am now done breast feeding and I miss it so much! I definitely didn't feel that way when I was doing it . I know I did what was best for him and I but now I regret it! I know I wasn't in the right state of mind and now I am and I love my little pumpkin!
Reading other peoples stories and hearing some people judge me for not trying harder is a lot especially when I already miss it ! I know it was for the best buti just have to remember that and not dwell!
Thanks for listening!
Struggling to bf is so hard on us Mommy's. I've shed many tears over not producing enough and Mav not latching on. My dr told me this week that at some point it won't be worth the stress and tears. Just knowing you did all you could should be reassuring.
ReplyDeleteThank you! It's very true! At some point it's not worth the way you feel!
DeleteEveryone has their own story and that's yours. It's too bad that people try to compare by one-upping each other, rather than encouraging each other. You did the very best for your sweet boy and you are a better mama for it! xo
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